For example, some use the “traffic light” system (red means stop, yellow means caution or check-in, and green means go). Most couples or partners have agreed upon safewords that mean certain things. SafewordĪ safeword is something that you and your partner agree upon before any scene. Someone who is a switch may be more submissive or more Dominant leaning, or it may just entirely depend on their mood or situation. They may switch roles when they want to, in certain situations or with certain partners. The term “switch” refers to the personality type of someone who is able to feel comfortable in both Dominant and submissive roles during BDSM play. A submissive is someone who willingly gives up some or all control during BDSM play to their Dominant partner(s). SubmissiveĪ submissive can be referred to as many different things as well (the most common being sub, slave, and/or slut). A female Dominant is commonly referred to as a Domme or Mistress.

You’re a person who will take the superior role in a BDSM scene or relationship. DominantĪ Dominant (that’s you!) can be referred to as many things, some of the most common including titles such as Sir, Master, Dom, and/or Daddy. So, here are some terms you should know as a Dominant.

You can never be too sure about these things. While many people reading this will already know these terms, some won’t - and it’s always important to go into any BDSM scene with as much knowledge and eagerness to learn as possible. BDSM terms you should be familiar with as a Dominant This could hypothetically strengthen their focus and control on the scene and their submissive. The Dominant could potentially experience a substantial release of nor-adrenaline (which could provide a lesser reaction to pain and a kind of out-of-body experience) by inflicting pain or unleashing orders on their submissive which then makes them feel empathetic. In the case of sadomasochism or pain play being inflicted upon the submissive by the Dominant, popular online publication Deviance and Desire (a site that often offers neurological/behavioral perspectives of all things BDSM) has a theory. This could also factor into a person’s decreased pain sensitivity. Nor-adrenaline, a neurotransmitter that is released by pain-controlling neural pathways in the brain, is also released during sex. While a bit more research has gone into subspace than domspace, there are some obvious things that happen in the brain during arousal and sex that can play into how one experiences domspace.įor example, the endorphins released during sexual intercourse help decrease pain and increase feelings of calm and relaxation. What happens in your brain when you experience domspace? (I use quotations there because all things D/s are consensual and have been previously agreed to by the submissive, so the Dominant doesn’t have total control). People who experience domspace explain that they feel a kind of “high” by being in control and having ‘power’ over their submissive. Yes, domspace (again, similar to subspace) can be an addictive experience.

Meditating before play, letting outside stresses and daily worries fade away.

Physical foreplay with your submissive (spanking, teasing, orders, etc).

Getting into the mood with your submissive, role-playing, sexting, dirty talk, etc.

Some things that may help you on your way to domspace are: There is no ‘one formula’ for experiencing domspace, and domspace is going to feel different for everyone. Reaching domspace (similar to reaching subspace) is a unique experience. Dominants, on the other hand, must remain in some form of control during the scene to both protect themselves and their submissive. Submissives often trust their Dominant partner to care for them while they are in subspace, as the sub may become extremely suggestible during their almost hypnotic-state of subspace.

Meanwhile, subspace has been described as a euphoric kind of “high” or a trance-like state. The main difference between subspace and Domspace is that Domspace is described as intense, with amplified sensations and a kind of out-of-body experience. Domspace is an altered state of mind that a Dominant person may feel during a BDSM scene. Domspace is to Doms what subspace is to subs, with a few key differences.

Subspace definition kink